Years ago Grandma was in a hospital bed in San Angelo, Texas. I sat by her bedside reading a book. It was titled Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. Later in my graduate study, I learned it was based on rational emotive therapy. I have found it most helpful in my personal life and in working at school with students.

Burns presents ten cognitive distortions and shows how to identify them and how to “untwist” your thinking. The first is the “all-or-nothing” thinking.

I’m trying to stay off wheat products, but I eat a roll. I’ve blown my diet for a day so I might as well eat another roll, the pasta, and the cake for dessert. That is a perfect example of “all-or-nothing” thinking in my life. In all-or-nothing thinking if I fall short of perfection, then I have failed.

It never ceases to amaze me that .300 is considered an excellent batting average by those who play ball. Yet in most aspects of my life I think success 3 out of 10 times would be horrendous. But this “excellent” batting average comes from putting things in perspective. Burns suggests thinking in shades of gray. Think of experiences as partial success. Evaluate things on a scale of 0-100 and see what success there has been and what has been learned from the situation.

If my self-esteem is based on my being perfect, I’m in trouble. Burns says “Genuine self-esteem is based on humility and an acceptance of your shortcomings. This makes is possible to assume responsibility for your actions, to feel remorse, to apologize and make amends, and to get on with productive and joyous living.”

Sounds like a biblical principle to me!